Wednesday, February 3, 2010

3 Weeks Already?!

I am cuddling my now three-week old little man as I write this. It's absolutely amazing how much life has completely and utterly changed since his arrival. And I wouldn't have it any other way. If there's one thing that makes your life do a complete 180 it's the birth of a child. It's hard. Sometimes I miss my life before. But then I look down at the package of sweetness cuddled in my lap and I realize things are only getting better. It's like shedding your skin. 28 years of who I was is slowly being shaken off and replaced by a new identity, which isn't always easy and sometimes it's a little painful. Being a new mommy is not about being on cloud nine all the time. It's the hardest work I've ever done. But I couldn't ask for a better baby and after three weeks together I feel like we're finally getting to know each other. I now recognize his different cries and when he's hungry and when he's just fussing. Slowly I am beginning to sleep better with him cuddled up against my chest. Some of my anxiety is fading, but I will always wonder if I'm doing a good enough job. It's just such a huge responsibility, being in charge of another human being's growth and development. I feel lucky to have the help and support of my family to get me through this time and I know we will eventually move out of this challenging newborn stage and into a different phase with its own challenges. I don't want to rush it though. This might be my only child and I know that once it's gone I can never get it back. So I take one day at a time and try to hold on to these moments as they pass.


Sara White said...

Christy you are doing great! Isn't it amazing how quickly your life changes! He's a lucky little man to have you!

Ryan, Christy, and Landen said...

Thanks Sara! Unfortunately I don't feel like I'm doing great. :( It is SO hard sometimes and being cooped up in the house is totally wearing on me! Everyone says things will get better but right now it sure doesn't feel like it!

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