Summer break has made me realize just how out-of-whack the balance in my life has become. Part of it is due to sleep deprivation, but most of it is due to guilt. It is mighty hard to call yourself a mother when you're not actually doing any "mothering" to your child. I feel like I'm handing my child off to a babysitter to raise (although we are extremely blessed to have my mom and sister-in-law watching him). The most I see Jackson is two hours per day and by the time I get him home, bathed, and ready for bed he is exhausted and cranky. There is no balance between my work-life and home-life. As a teacher it is extremely difficult to find an end point to the day where you feel like to got your job done and you can go home for the night satisfied. Work follows you home and sometimes the stress threatens to swallow you whole. By the time I'm home with Jackson I'm tired and cranky too, with nothing left to give. There is such a difference in my attitude and perception of motherhood when I'm able to relax and just spend time with him. I feel so lucky to have this break to spend more time with Jackson, but worry about what next year will bring. The stress associated with my job just keeps getting tougher and I know that being separated from Jackson is just going to bring on more guilt. How do working moms do it? How do you call yourself a mother when you never see your child?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Posted by Jack & Lucy at 8:02 PM
Sunday, May 23, 2010
My lack of sleep has a new name- reversed sleep cycles. What I once thought was simply Jackson "forgetting" how to sleep through the night is actually his cunning plan to nurse as much as possible while avoiding bottles at all costs. During the day while he's with my mom or Jamie he eats just enough to get him through the day and as soon as I arrive he pounces, literally. He is definitely my boob man, nursing the entire night, usually every hour-and-a-half to two hours. Happiness for him and sleepiness for me. I guess that's one of the drawbacks of nursing, but I still refuse to give it up. I worked long and hard to make breastfeeding work and I'm willing to deal with this obstacle too. The unfortunate part is that I think it's definitely leading to some full-scale depression on my part. Hardcore sleep deprivation interferes with basically every aspect of your life, especially your mood. I have become incredibly negative as of late but I've noticed that when I receive the unexpected gift of a nap here and there all of a sudden my mood dramatically improves as do my coping skills. So I've come to the conclusion that more sleep=happiness for all those involved. My one purpose in life this summer is to get Jackson on a schedule and get him to sleep as much as possible at night. I can not go through the next school year on as little sleep as I've been getting. So I've checked out literally every book on infant sleep there is at the library and I plan on rolling up my sleeves and digging in as soon as this week's over. Wish me luck!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
We tried the rice cereal for the first time last night and it was a hit! Jackson gobbled it up like a champ and genuinely seemed to enjoy trying it. We're going to try it out for the next three nights for dinner to make sure there's no allergies and then it's on to peas and then green beans. I used the steamer and food processor to whip up a batch of each this morning and it was easy! Two cups of peas or green beans is enough to make 10 servings of baby food which not only saves us a ton of money (one small jar of organic baby food goes for $1.29) but it's also peace of mind knowing exactly what's in his food. This is the only time I can control what goes in Jackson's mouth and I plan to take full advantage of it! We're sticking to only organic foods and homemade ones as much as possible. After he gets used to the veggies we'll try fruits next. I can't wait to start making the recipes in his different baby food cookbooks!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Five more days and I finally get to be a mommy again. I cannot wait to be able to actually spend time with Jackson instead of getting home and putting him right to bed. It's pretty embarrassing when you go to the doctor and you aren't able to tell them anything about your child's eating/sleeping/pooping schedule because uh, you're never around him. First order of business for summer break is getting him on a nap schedule. Second is getting him started on solids. And last is spending as much time together as possible!!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
So we had Jackson's four month check-up on Monday and the doctor gave us the go-ahead to start solids! Yippee! We are planning on making all of Jackson's baby food and I have been drooling over the assorted baby food cookbooks I've been collecting since I found we were expecting. We decided against shelling out for the $150 Beaba Baby Cook and instead went with a Kitchen Aid Food Processor (much more versatile) and a rice cooker/steamer combo. The first thing we'll start him on is Earth's Best Organic Whole Grain Rice and then try oatmeal after that. I want to stick with organic food as much as possible, so we also bought organic peas and green beans to use for his first tastes. The doctor told us that if we could get him to eat these two foods he'll eat anything!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Amazon.com is my new best friend. So easy to shop at. Such a wide selection. And they even store your credit card details so you don't have to go running downstairs to get it. So convenient! Here's what I just bought for Jackson.
1. Sophie the Giraffe- I caved and bought this very expensive teether after hearing so many fantastic reviews about it. It BETTER be amazing!
2. Fisher-Price Soothe and Glow Seahorse- I know so many people who absolutely rave about the sleep-inducuing quailities of this lovey. Sleep and inducing are in very short supply in our household. I'm definitely going to give this a try.
3. NUK Learner Cup with Silicone Spout- I don't want Jackson to be one of those toddlers who is still on a bottle while he's walking around. My sister-in-law uses this one and says her son loves it because it has a squishy straw that's soft on the gums. We'll start Jackson on this around 6 months.
4. Sassy Click Clack Keys Rattle- Jackson loves chewing on anything and everything he can grab onto and these looked like they would be easy to grip. Perfect for the stroller because if we lose them I won't be heartbroken (as opposed to losing Sophie the Giraffe!).
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
So I am very tempted to drop $14.95 on a teething toy named Sophie the Giraffe. Ever heard of her? Supposedly she's the most popular teething toy on the market and is made of a special kind of rubber that feels like skin (kind of weird). Jackson is very into the nom-nom-nom stage so I'm thinking he might love this. I'll have to think about it.