Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Six Days Left

Six days left until I go back to work. It's funny how returning to work is even scarier than having a baby. How will I get it all done? There's so much unknown and guilt with leaving Jackson an it's just tearing me apart. I am so resentful of everything that takes me away from him. Facing 22 needy first graders every day isn't going to leave me much left over for Jackson when I get home. I just can't believe it's already been 12 weeks since he was born. The days have been such a blur and I accomplished so little on my leave. Somehow I thought 3 months would seem like forever, but instead it passed in the blink of an eye. Those first hazy days of sleep deprivation and anxiety have slowly faded away. Jackson is now on a schedule, sleeping at night, and fully interactive. Just as he starts smiling and laughing I have to leave him. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but leaving him is going to be the hardest thing I ever do.

4 comments:

Jamie said...

I totally feel the same way. Very resentful of anything that takes me away. And honestly, resentful of those who get to watch her when I'm not there. I try not to be, but it's so hard! I go back tomorrow night. I have cried ten times today and am worried I'll cry all the way there and look a hot mess when I will be getting a ton of attention and have a lot to learn going back in with new computer systems in our ER!

KatieJones said...

Just saw that you are a follower on my blog so I popped over to check yours out! Jackson is SO cute! He is at such a fun age, on a schedule, sleeping well. I always say 3 months is the magic number. Good luck going back to work, you can do it!

Ryan, Christy, and Landen said...

Thanks so much Katie! I love your blog and your daughter is too cute!

The Hudson's said...

So you blog info on babycenter and had to check it out. Jackson is such a doll! Good luck going back to work, I know it will be hard. It will just make you cherish your time with him that much more.

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