Six days left until I go back to work. It's funny how returning to work is even scarier than having a baby. How will I get it all done? There's so much unknown and guilt with leaving Jackson an it's just tearing me apart. I am so resentful of everything that takes me away from him. Facing 22 needy first graders every day isn't going to leave me much left over for Jackson when I get home. I just can't believe it's already been 12 weeks since he was born. The days have been such a blur and I accomplished so little on my leave. Somehow I thought 3 months would seem like forever, but instead it passed in the blink of an eye. Those first hazy days of sleep deprivation and anxiety have slowly faded away. Jackson is now on a schedule, sleeping at night, and fully interactive. Just as he starts smiling and laughing I have to leave him. I know life isn't supposed to be easy, but leaving him is going to be the hardest thing I ever do.