Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Worried

I go through phases as a mommy where I feel totally confident in what I'm doing and how Jackson is progressing. And then I hit these slumps where my anxiety level goes through the roof and I question anything and everything I'm doing (or not doing) as a mom. Right now is one of those time. For some reason my mind likes to glom on to certain worries. For example, when Jackson was born I was sick with worry over the risk of SIDS. I even went out and bought one of those monitors that alarms if your baby stops breathing. Too bad is alarmed ALL night long. That was chucked soon after. Once I let go of that worry I started stressing over him getting left in the car. Living in Arizona, if a child gets left in a car for any length of time at any point during the year they won't survive long. So anytime Jackson was with someone else I stressed and checked in on him constantly. Now my newest worry is that he's not developing on track with other babies his age. He doesn't know his name and this worries me to no end. We do call him by far too many nicknames, but shouldn't he know his name by now? I also hear about other kids saying full blown words, answering questions by shaking their head, giving high-fives, waving bye-bye, etc. and they're the same age as Jackson (10 months). Jackson doesn't do any of those things. True, he's already walking, going up and down the stairs, and throwing balls. But I'm more concerned about the things that correlate with his cognitive ability than I am anything else. What if he's autistic? What if he has a learning disability or a developmental delay? I have very close personal experience with autism (not a blood relative) and I've worked with special needs kids for years. I don't know how I would handle it if this is the case. Are my fears normal? Jackson's doctor seems to think he's fine, but they never seem to worry until it's too late. Sometimes being a mommy is so overwhelming.



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4 comments:

Katie said...

I completely understand your worries. I actually began discussing Luke's possibility of autism with his pediatrician months before he was even born. Its tough not to worry about every little thing because you just want the best for your baby. It sounds like Jackson is doing well to me, but I'm by no means any kind of cognitive expert. If it makes you feel better, Reagan just started waving and playing peek-a-boo in the past couple of weeks, but she doesn't fully crawl yet or walk and is nowhere near forming any words.

Take a deep breath, give Jackson a good long squeeze, and just remember you'll love him no matter what. :)

Tiffany said...

I worried about my son's talking abilities when he was a baby too, especially since I was comparing him to his big sister who starting talking at 6 months. Little E didn't start talking until after his first birthday, whereas his sister said her name on her first birthday. Generally boys are slower at developing than girls.
If your son is walking, playing and being very active then he is working on those motor skills right now. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. My best advice, read, read, read to him.Every time you do something when he is with you, tell him what it is. The more you involve him even in your conversations, he will catch on. Enjoy the moments and try not to worry.

Ms. Diva said...

Worring comes with the job!!! Trust me one day you will here yourself sayin, "Nobody say the word Mommy for the next ten minutes!!!" :)

Ashley said...

Being a mom is so scary! I totally agree. I worry over things like this too. To be honest, it's better to worry and catch things early if there is a problem. However, from how you describe Jackson, he seems fine. Kids who walk and are really physical early, often don't talk until a little later. It's like the focus on one thing and not the other. I'm sure he knows his name, maybe just be sure to use it more often. Good luck and hang in!

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