Sunday, February 28, 2010
" ...Life is Difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."
This is something I need to work hard on accepting. Life will be easier when I realize life isn't meant to be easy and that I can do this, even if it will be difficult. Going back to work is going to be hell. But I will make it through and Jackson will survive.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
When I was pregnant I was adamant that I was going to breastfeed as long as possible. I've always been a huge proponent of breastmilk and I know that "breast is best." Well it also SUCKS! First we had thrush. When that finally cleared up I started to get an oversupply of milk. Seriously?! Who has too MUCH milk? So now Jackson screams bloody murder while he's pulling on and off of the breast throughout the entire feeding! Talk about hell on earth. We both end up crying and he's still starving. To top it off he won't take a bottle either. So my poor baby is famished and I feel like a complete failure as a mother. I have no idea what to do since the bottle won't work either. When I pump I get tons of milk, which I've been freezing for when I go back to work but I have no idea how we're going to actually get it in him. I am so frustrated beyond belief right now that I could bash my head through a wall. Why does everything have to be so difficult?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Although I still have 6 weeks of maternity leave left I am seriously getting depressed about returning to work. I know, I know- six weeks is a long time, but once I go back nothing will be the same. Being a teacher is not a typical nine-to-five job. It's mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting and the amount of work I have to bring home on a daily basis just to keep my head above water is insane. I don't know how I'm going to manage this workload and give Jackson the love and attention he deserves. I would LOVE to be a stay-at-home mom and get to actually raise my child instead of someone else doing it for me, but unfortunately that's not even an option. I have prayed for a solution to this problem for so long, but so far nothing has appeared on the horizon. So for now I try to shove my dread to the back of my mind and just enjoy the time I have left with Jackson, but it's hard. I'm going to miss him SO much when I'm at work. We've been together 24/7 since he was born and suddenly being separated from him is going to kill me. Luckily my mom is going to be watching him for us most days and I couldn't ask for anything better. I feel immensely blessed that he'll be with her, but I'll still have the guilt of NOT being there. I feel like I'm going to be miss out on so much while I'm at work, especially that bonding that is so important. By the time we get done with work I'll only have a few hours to spend with him before he goes to bed. It makes me so frustrated that I'm not going to be there for him and even more resentful of my job than I was before. Life is definitely going to be a challenge.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Posted by Jack & Lucy at 11:40 AM
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Are you interested in winning a $35 gift card to Expressiva.com? The website has tons of great clothing, loungewear, and pajamas for nursing mommies. Head over to Hormonal Imbalances at http://hormonal-imbalances.blogspot.com/2010/02/win-35-gift-certificate-to.html for your chance to win!
Babie Dickie is giving away an awesome Bravado Nursing Bra! To enter, head over to http://babydickey.com/2010/02/11/bravado-nursing-bra-giveaway/comment-page-1/#comment-4126!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
http://www.sessionninephotography.com/) is a husband and wife team who are not only amazing photographers, but also wonderful people. We shot our maternity shoot on December 18, 2009 in downtown Gilbert. The weather was perfect and there were some really cool places to use as backdrops. As you can see from the pictures Jess and Jason have amazing eyes for really cool shots. We couldn't have been happier!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Click on the box every time you visit to vote for us on www.topbabyblogs.com!
Posted by Jack & Lucy at 12:04 PM
1. Kiddapotamus "Swaddle Me" Velcro swaddler- the only thing that calms Jackson down instantly when he's upset.
2. The Happiest Baby on the Block- this video/book literally saved our lives. The techniques calm Jackson down instantly!
3. Fisher Price Newborn Rocker- If Jackson isn't sleeping with me he's in this. I love how it keeps him at an angle, which he definitely prefers for sleeping.
4. Boppy- a necessity for breastfeeding!
5. Baby Daze Ultimate Baby Organizer- I keep track of Jackson's feeding times, how long he eats for, diaper changes, sleep patterns, and weigh-ins all in this handy book. Love it!
6. Lansinoh- have to have this before and after feedings!
7. Womb Sounds Bear- I got this as a gift from a student and Jackson loves it! It plays a combo of white noise and heartbeat to mimic the sounds heard in the womb. You can put it inside a stuffed bear for older babies or just hang the sound machine on the side of the crib.
8. Swing- We use a Fisher Price Cradle Swing and sometimes Jackson sleeps swaddled in it night while I sleep next to him on the couch.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Having a baby is expensive. Very expensive. Our hospital bill alone came to over $15,000 and thankfully my health insurance is covering a large chunk of it, but any out-of-pocket costs right now are very tough on our finances. A teacher's salary just doesn't cut it these days. Plus we have to buy Jackson's health insurance on our own because it's ridiculously expensive through our district. And they don't cover any sick baby visits! So if my anxiety wasn't extreme enough already, now I'm worrying about how much it's going to cost to take him to the doctor when he inevitably gets sick. What's the point of having insurance if they don't cover anything?! I am so envious of women who's husbands have jobs that can cover their children. Why can't anything in life be simple? One sick visit to the doctor is 1/4 of my paycheck and then there's the added costs of diapers, wipes, and all of the other baby-related items that are necessities. I would love to be like most people and not have to worry about this stuff. It's so hard to have faith that things will turn out ok when they usually don't when it comes to money. Someday I'd love to have a job where I can adequately provide for my child and give him the things he deserves in life. We'll see if that ever happens.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
It'ss now been 20+ days since I got more than 1 hour of sleep in a row. And I am truly, absolutely exhausted. Ryan is still working (his leave starts February 22nd and I'm counting down the days!), so I am the one up all night for feedings and diaper changes. I am very lucky in that Jackson sleeps at night, but he insists that he sleep on me instead of his bassinet which makes me way to nervous to actually do any sleeping. His every little noise wakes me up to adjust his position or see if he's hungry. Nursing is definitely hard work too! He practically tries to rip them off of me when he eats. The little monster noises he makes are quite adorable as he shakes his head back and forth, but I definitely have battle wounds to show for it! Everyone says that it will eventually get easier but right now I'll believe it when I see it.